Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
ayien.
Weirdly wired, wiredly weird.
I am, ur favourite nurse.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006, 3:55 PM
recently ive been thinking about alotta stuffs.
and the more i think about it, the more i wonder.
the more i wonder, the more i feel rather.. mellow.
and it was during the last part of tps lesson today that broke all dams.
whudever that means.
even the toughest bough can break too, someday y'noe?
ms wong made each and every one of us think of a person whom we'd like to thank and apologise to.
it hadnt occured to me that this particular last lesson would leave sucha lasting impression.
as the thing went around, and evryone started their speeches,
i swear i could actualli see the sincerity in their eyes.
about how sorry they were about not making their parents proud.
about awful things we did in the past which caused hurt to the ones we love.
and about feeling grateful to people.
and whud really touched me was that almost the whole class had tears rolling down their cheeks
while they spoke, some sobbed and sniffed. while others emhatised.
it was at this particular moment that i felt so close and bonded as a class,
having seen their emotional sides.
everyone make mistakes. its a matter of how u make up for it.
and for every word i said, for every tears i shed. i truly mean it.
perhaps for some, it wudnt haf mattered so much.
or maybe im jus some wussy who gets emotional bout these kinda things.
but who cares? it made me feel better.
cus the sorry ive been wanting to say never got through today.
i wished i wasnt such an awful fruck, wasnt a bad-mouthed prejudiced lil kid.
but at least i got over those mean phases of chilhood life. haaaahhh.
and im sorry i was such a theif in those days, mum.
i thought about how some of them felt sorry for being so rebellious.
much to the extent of severely hurting their parents physically and emotionally.
and i thought - i wasnt any difference too.
i felt so bad. but changing one's self takes a long time. but ill try.
altho some might think im just shooting my mouth off, saying things i wun do.
look at those times i talked back to the folks,
smashing stuffs around the house, uttering foul words.
yet through it all, they were always there.
true enough, it hurts to hear them saying bout how they thought ite was IT.
whudever 'it' means. i remembered hating so much.
i hated being compared, being looked down upon.
but at least i got up on my own again. so whud if im in ite? at least i made the best outta it.
and i bet those very people who looked down on me wud be going green wid envy now,
after hearing of those scholarships i EARNED. the sponsorship i WORKED FOR.
and that makes me happy. cus i noe i do my folks proud.
see? whuds the point of having all the brains if u hadnt got the heart to care at all?
for those who really stood by me and accepted me for who i am.
u noe i appreciate that alot. and that i'd never try to lose contact wid u ppl.
banyak lurp sama lu olang! *hugs*
and screw the losers. look who has the last laugh now? haaaaaaaaaa.
ain-