ayien.
Weirdly wired, wiredly weird.
I am, ur favourite nurse.
its been raining these past few days (even last night) and thats definitely good. thats realli good. alhamdulillah. been waiting for it to come for weeks! i mean, just look at how bad it got?
haaaahs. ouhkehh, it doesnt look too bad from the picture. thankgawd the psi's down to 51, last i checked. and suddenly ive got this craving for MilkShine CofeeMilkTea and sum chocolates. or perhaps some junkfood to mull around and munch with. because im feeling so damn mellow-ish and idunnowhud. and i suppose some of those haze probably diffused into my head and clouded my brains or sumthing. because the more i think about that thing, the more restless i feel. and it bothers me a whole lot till i cant think anymore. i just feel like running and running and running. I took it and crushed it and painted it black. I swallowed the match. It's burning at my insides.
i should probably stop all these nonsense. its been going on for ages. kenapa susah sangat nie? forget bout it ajelaaah~ if only it was that simple eh? IF ONLY it hadnt been so colorful, perhaps it wud have been easier to wash off the stain.
sometimes i sit down and think of my azahar syg. aaaaand i'd go all stoned. dun ask me why, i just cant explain. pokoknya, it concerns me, not you kans? and i was just thinking of buzz's sudden appearance at my doorstep last night. it came as a big pre-raya surprise. and honestly, i hadnt expected it at all. i thought she was gone for good. as in, 'AIN & LYZ' doesnt exist in her phonebook anymore. apparently NOT. but thinking back on it, it kinda saddens me for a moment there just thinking bout the way things used to be between us. we used to be a trio remember? till u went to spoil it all, till u went past us widout as much as a nod or a smile or any sense of acknowledgement. haf u had any idea how that made me feel?
sometimes the more u wish for sumthing, the more u wun get it. the harder u try, the further it is within ur reach. but when its finally there, all served before you.. u cant haf it. there's just that sumthg that's holding you back, preventing you from having it. and almost always, the culprit's ur CONSCIENCE. welll... thats just the way it is.
most of u wud be wondering why im still blogging here on the furst day of raya ryte? why.. TAK BOLEY KAPE? hahaaas. bleeeaaahs. furst day of raya has never been a favourite, frankly speaking. not that im being disrespectful here, but realli. it used to be all kecoh and enjoyable to go over to pak long's on the morn of raya. but in the recent years, some families chose to go over to someplace else and only come down after evryone's about to leave. so the mood.. aint exactly there. so in the end, its mostly the adults chatting and catching up while the rest tucked in and watched whudever lame show's that showing on teevee. haaaiiish. i think.. i'd haf loved it better being at uwan's kampung. but.. im still pretty much traumatised over that incident thou. come to think of it, i hadnt been to kampung since then. partly because im too caught up wid school and attachment. i wished they'd come over instead.
so anyways, we went to haf a family portrait taken at a bridal shop's studio earlier on at IMM. ahaaaaaaa. as far as i can remember, the last time we had one of those was way back when i was probably four? it was fun lahs, having the lights on you walaupun the smile macam fake gitu kan? heheh! but it was nice ouhkehhhh. so we're suppose to choose the picture next week before they print it out larrs. and then there was some kinda commotion wid the BRATTY princess (special emphasis on the bratty there). this is how we looked like today. (tapi yg studio pnyeh lagi maut lahh..)
im gonna bug nadi to paint my room as promised before he goes in for ns. mestiii, wajib! and then im gonna get some stuffs for my room also. and NOW, im realli gonna start on my psych case study AND read my behavioural science notes since ive got nuthing else better to do anyways. (and the fav cuzzy aint even here yet? sheeze. tanak makan rendang kape?) sooooooooooooo. itu ajelahs eh? ive got nuthing else to say alreadi. selamat hari raya kepada semua yeee? jangan lupe datang umah gue ye, tak kiralah yg dah tua2 bangka ke, yang masih skolah ke, yang taktaumalu ke, yang tak pernah datang ke.. DATANG JE!
ain-