Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
ayien.
Weirdly wired, wiredly weird.
I am, ur favourite nurse.
Friday, September 29, 2006, 9:00 PM
for whudever weird reasons there was, i felt all emoey last night. and strangely enuff, i felt like i was all alone. its true, i hadnt intended to put down the fon afterall. cus i wanted to just sit there and listen to you talk on and on just so i'd feel better. you might be trynna sound cute or singing sum nanana songs or maybe just rattling away bout the daily events or even attempting to annoy me till i go bonkers. STILL, its sumthing i look forward to every night, wishing the time wud tick by faster and u'd be home. sumtimes i just get tired of waiting that i resign to sleep feeling disappointed over short conversations. its probably sumthing minor, but when u kip things all in.. one day ur just gonna burst. like they always say, sikit-sikit lama-lama jadi bukit. hell, it doesnt really fit the context here, but just make sense of it lah dengs! hmm. yes, it did bothered me. but i din wanna start on it. its too tiresome and its only gonna make me sadder. on the plus side, at least ive got you all for myself - all mine. and the thought of it trigger me happy =).as i got off the fon last night, suddenly a few people just started popping into mind. its pretty ironic how people whom used to be the closest thing to you now seems so distant. and i thought of a fren i still dearly miss and it aches to think of it. after the much tossing and turning, i finally took to writing the letters to you. hahas. its makes me feel better, it always does. to just jot down whud u feel, read it over and then crush and dump it. maybe one day i will pass it to her sumhow. but its hard facing her when i cant think of words to say shud we come face-to-face. its stupid, but really.. evrytime i cross that road, i cant help but turn to that spot wishing you were there. wudnt it be nice to just sit at that same spot and waste time doing stupid things like we used to? and remember hw we used to fully utlilise that multi-storey carpark for the craziest childish things ever? and i never realli bothered much bout whud people think or say abut you cus all that matters is that u were there for me during those times. so screw all those losers. haish.
and to add on to those sadness, sunthing tragic happened today. i noe it aint really my fault. he's ninety-four for cow's sake and he's wid cancer and i noe perhaps it was his time to go afterall. but it just feels so sad. cus just a few minutes before that, we were communicating. perhaps its more of the gut feeling, felt like i hadta clean him up real good just so he'd be all nice-smelling and comfy. i never knew it wud be the last. "uunncle fongg! how are you feeling today? all good and strong?" "good, veryyy good!" he said. i felt like i hadta do him good by doing the last office for him, all the time apologising. haish. im sorry mr fong. i hope ur doing fine on the other side. *one minute of silence*
ouhkeh i realise i sounded all gloomy and solemn and sad in the previous paragraphs. wth ain. enuff larrs. anws, today was the last day of attachy. YAAAY-NESS! goodbye attachy, hello school! hahahs. well yeahs, i kinda get school sick, mainly cus of the tom&jerries. had 'debrief' earlier on in the butterfly garden at AH, before msjulajulibintangtujuh dismissed us. since i had like an hour (plus some) to waste before the bf fetch me from work, headed off to Ikea wid a few jolly good fellows.manyak kecoh horrr. and ikea seems so much bigger than usual when ur all worn out. and i actualli forgot to get my jeans altered at queensway mann. bleaaahhhs.
haiyaas. maybe ill do sum myspacing or sumthing for now. taas!
ain-